I've Heard It (Said It) Before

I've Heard It (Said It) Before
I’ve Heard It (Said It) Before
I was out last week for a meeting not related to my work but for a “community organization”. During the course of the conversation I was asked what I do for a living.
When I told the person, his eyes opened wide, he stated this has happened for a reason, and called another family member in. Funny, they have a family member who has a problem and appears to be in denial about it.
This happens frequently with people I meet; its’ usually never them, but they know someone. Funny, at a point going back in my life I would have said I knew someone who had a problem (my wife would have said the same thing) but I would never have said it was they guy in the mirror. My wife would have pointed me out!
Funny how that works!!
Most addicted people, or people with living issues for that matter, are in denial. While many on the outside may admit they have some issues, most are not being honest. People who care about them want to believe but the funny things, with 10%+ of the population having an addiction (or major living) issue, the truth is the addicted LIE to themselves and to others.
Question is- how do you know when they are lying?
A good friend of mind, Patrick Meninga who writes “Spiritual River” has just done a great article on this. I have posted it in full on my web site, www.hopeserenity.ca. If this article is ringing true with you, I invite you to go over to my site, and read Patrick’s article in full. It certainly hit home with a couple of addicted friends and family in my life!

बे त्रुए तो सेल्फ!

BE TRUE TO SELF!
And this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man.
--Shakespeare

"To thine own self be true." "Live the life you were meant to live." "Be the person you were meant to be." These statements convey a wonderful truth. They form the basic philosophies coaches have about clients - that when we go inside and trust our intuition, life opens before us. When we ignore our inner leanings, however, trouble arises.
Many love their families or have a true passion for a hobby. They get so involved and overdo other things-work, sports, addictions, gaming, etc. One day they face a real scare- illness, death- and realize they have missed those things that are truly important to them.
I have learned the hard way, I must be true to the things that are really important before the opportunity is lost. I cannot live as I think others may want me to live.
Why not start off with the right fit? Acknowledge your unique gifts and talents, as well as your wants and needs. Then seek out situations and circumstances that will allow them their full expression. This route may take time, but the results are worth it - a life of peace and fulfillment that comes from being true to you.
I remain constantly grateful that I finally heard the message BEFORE it was too late, and heeded the advice that the small quiet voice inside was telling me.
I got help and did the things I needed to do to make change. I started to become true to my true values and started to live the life I was meant to live. Less materially maybe, but a life richer in hope, serenity and internal peace. I truly have all I need, not necessarily everything I want, and I am true to my real self! (www.hopeserenity.ca)
We are better than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less.
-- Anonymous

BE TRUE TO SELF!

BE TRUE TO SELF!
BE TRUE TO SELF!
And this above all, to thine own self be true. And it must follow as night the day, thou canst not be false to any man.
--Shakespeare

"To thine own self be true." "Live the life you were meant to live." "Be the person you were meant to be." These statements convey a wonderful truth. They form the basic philosophies coaches have about clients - that when we go inside and trust our intuition, life opens before us. When we ignore our inner leanings, however, trouble arises.
Many love their families or have a true passion for a hobby. They get so involved and overdo other things-work, sports, addictions, gaming, etc. One day they face a real scare- illness, death- and realize they have missed those things that are truly important to them.
I have learned the hard way, I must be true to the things that are really important before the opportunity is lost. I cannot live as I think others may want me to live.
Why not start off with the right fit? Acknowledge your unique gifts and talents, as well as your wants and needs. Then seek out situations and circumstances that will allow them their full expression. This route may take time, but the results are worth it - a life of peace and fulfillment that comes from being true to you.
I remain constantly grateful that I finally heard the message BEFORE it was too late, and heeded the advice that the small quiet voice inside was telling me.
I got help and did the things I needed to do to make change. I started to become true to my true values and started to live the life I was meant to live. Less materially maybe, but a life richer in hope, serenity and internal peace. I truly have all I need, not necessarily everything I want, and I am true to my real self! (www.hopeserenity.ca)
We are better than we know. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives, we will be unwilling to settle for less.
-- Anonymous

REAWAKEN YOUR CURIOUSITY

REAWAKEN YOUR CURIOUSITY
Reawaken your curiosity
"What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult." -- Sigmund Freud

Why is this so?
Young children possess what Zen calls 'beginner's mind.' They are awed and fascinated with the wonder of the world, open to discovering and experiencing new things. Anything is possible. Life is a great adventure.
For almost all of us, the systems that 'educate' us to be adults stifle our natural joy and curiosity. We lose touch with our innate appreciation of life. We forget how to dream.
The blessing is that with attention, patience and love, we can reawaken our sense of wonder. We can again dance with life.
"The mind WILL be free, or it will be dead." -- Grace Llewellyn
Thank you to my mentor Dr. Randin Brons and his Idea Engineer for this article. A very good reminder to me of one of the true gifts of a coach- we help people reawaken their curiosity and rediscover that radiant intelligence that is within each of us.(www.hopeserenity.ca)

रेअवाकें यौर CURIOSITY

Reawaken your curiosity
"What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult." -- Sigmund Freud

Why is this so?
Young children possess what Zen calls 'beginner's mind.' They are awed and fascinated with the wonder of the world, open to discovering and experiencing new things. Anything is possible. Life is a great adventure.
For almost all of us, the systems that 'educate' us to be adults stifle our natural joy and curiosity. We lose touch with our innate appreciation of life. We forget how to dream.
The blessing is that with attention, patience and love, we can reawaken our sense of wonder. We can again dance with life.
"The mind WILL be free, or it will be dead." -- Grace Llewellyn
Thank you to my mentor Dr. Randin Brons and his Idea Engineer for this article. A very good reminder to me of one of the true gifts of a coach- we help people reawaken their curiosity and rediscover that radiant intelligence that is within each of us.(www.hopeserenity.ca)

प्राय तो गोद. रो तो शोरे!

PRAY to God. ROW to SHORE

　

I don’t know how many people I have talked to over the years who have claimed "I’ve prayed about it but nothing happened". Funny how it works.

I can relate to the title saying; for many years, when things got desperate, I would pray to a god I learned about in Sunday school. Prayer was in the form of a plea and oft times followed the pattern "If you get me out of this spot this time I’ll never do it again" or "Please give me/let me have…….". Strange, the results I got were not great.

The sign in the antique store showed a fisherman in a rowboat being tossed about in a storm. The message was clear: the fisherman may have great faith, but now was not the time to put away the oars and kneel in prayer - it was time to pray and row!
Sometimes we find ourselves in a storm of trouble, a sea of problems, and we want God to get us out. We may even pray, "God, get me out of this mess." But like the man in the rowboat, the way out is not just by praying to God. The way out is to pray, ask for help, and take action - do something to help ourselves.

For years I did not understand the simple message. I always believed that there was something greater than me in this world and I certainly believed this something was capable of miracles. What I forgot was that action was MY responsibility and God helps those who help themselves. In my case, helping me was fully admitting I has a problem, accepting it and taking the action I needed to not only get help, but to do the things I was taught I needed to do.

Today I ask simply each day for the knowledge of what my Higher Power’s will is and for the courage to carry it out. Then it is up to me to row to shore! (www.hopeserenity.ca).

PRAY to GOD. ROW to SHORE.

PRAY to GOD. ROW to SHORE.

PRAY to God. ROW to SHORE

　

I don’t know how many people I have talked to over the years who have claimed "I’ve prayed about it but nothing happened". Funny how it works.

I can relate to the title saying; for many years, when things got desperate, I would pray to a god I learned about in Sunday school. Prayer was in the form of a plea and oft times followed the pattern "If you get me out of this spot this time I’ll never do it again" or "Please give me/let me have…….". Strange, the results I got were not great.

The sign in the antique store showed a fisherman in a rowboat being tossed about in a storm. The message was clear: the fisherman may have great faith, but now was not the time to put away the oars and kneel in prayer - it was time to pray and row!
Sometimes we find ourselves in a storm of trouble, a sea of problems, and we want God to get us out. We may even pray, "God, get me out of this mess." But like the man in the rowboat, the way out is not just by praying to God. The way out is to pray, ask for help, and take action - do something to help ourselves.

For years I did not understand the simple message. I always believed that there was something greater than me in this world and I certainly believed this something was capable of miracles. What I forgot was that action was MY responsibility and God helps those who help themselves. In my case, helping me was fully admitting I has a problem, accepting it and taking the action I needed to not only get help, but to do the things I was taught I needed to do.

Today I ask simply each day for the knowledge of what my Higher Power’s will is and for the courage to carry it out. Then it is up to me to row to shore! (www.hopeserenity.ca).

I DON'T GET IT (OR I CAN FIX MYSELF)

I DON'T GET IT (OR I CAN FIX MYSELF)
I DON’T GET IT!
(Or I CAN FIX IT MYSELF)
In my line of work and in my own “life of service” there seems to be periods of time where I can’t believe what my ears are hearing.
The blessing, in hearing what I hear, is that I am grateful for the life that I have learned to live, and the basic move way from insane behaviour because of what I have been taught. Daily I thank that power greater than me that I am now conscious of and which, when I pay attention, gives me a life free of large doses of fear and shame.
Today’s most recent saga, an old acquaintance has called a lawyer client of mine for a get together. The reason, he has lost (for the second or third time in 2 months) his passport, and wants to attend a hockey tournament in the USA this weekend to watch his son; this after a five day detox stint following 9 weeks of nearly killing himself. The lawyer was recently told, during an emergency trip to hospital, that if he continues his life style, he will die.
I must admit that this sounds like the blind leading the blind; or, insanity in a form that I have personally experienced.
Throw on top of this a conversation with a potential client who suffers from chronic lateness (is getting chronic on this habit insane?) and it’s been an interesting 24 hour period.
With all concerned, they claim that they just don’t understand why these things happen to them, and at least with “frick and frack”, deep down they think they can fix it themselves. Unfortunately, unless things change, I foresee a couple of more needless and senseless funerals that I will be attending. Chronic lateness, I don’t think this kills but it certainly puts unneeded limitations on your life and certainly does nothing for self worth!
The people I have been interfacing with are basically decent, intelligent hard working people but people who have the deadly combination of false pride and low self esteem/respect. Deadly if not treated. Funny, they don’t understand why they do the things they do and with the lawyer and my other long term acquaintance, really believe that they can fix themselves through sheer abstinence.
Life reminds me of where I found my major problem. I found it in a mirror. After having found the problem, I swallowed my pride and reached out for help. Some fortunate ones seem to get all the help they need from a 12 step fellowship. While I certainly got (and get) help from group meetings, I needed far more help than meetings could provide. I needed the help of professionals to help me learn not only the tools I needed to live the life I was capable of, but to help me understand how I got so far off track and to address the root causes. I was fortunate to “get it” and learn the hard way that I could not fix myself.
The past 24 hours has once again reminded me, “the road to hell (and I’ve been there) is paved with good intentions.” To get off it requires action and change.
I love to see people get the life they want and am blessed that I have been a part of many success stories. As noted above, I continue to be reminded that I cannot “fix” others, particularly those who believe they can fix themselves. I have empathy for those who “just don’t get it” for they cannot be honest in front of that great tool we all own, the mirror. All I can do is be present when I can be of service! And keep on learning to be of greater service. (www.hopeserenity.ca)

इ दोन'टी गेट आईटी!

I DON’T GET IT!
(Or I CAN FIX IT MYSELF)
In my line of work and in my own “life of service” there seems to be periods of time where I can’t believe what my ears are hearing.
The blessing, in hearing what I hear, is that I am grateful for the life that I have learned to live, and the basic move way from insane behaviour because of what I have been taught. Daily I thank that power greater than me that I am now conscious of and which, when I pay attention, gives me a life free of large doses of fear and shame.
Today’s most recent saga, an old acquaintance has called a lawyer client of mine for a get together. The reason, he has lost (for the second or third time in 2 months) his passport, and wants to attend a hockey tournament in the USA this weekend to watch his son; this after a five day detox stint following 9 weeks of nearly killing himself. The lawyer was recently told, during an emergency trip to hospital, that if he continues his life style, he will die.
I must admit that this sounds like the blind leading the blind; or, insanity in a form that I have personally experienced.
Throw on top of this a conversation with a potential client who suffers from chronic lateness (is getting chronic on this habit insane?) and it’s been an interesting 24 hour period.
With all concerned, they claim that they just don’t understand why these things happen to them, and at least with “frick and frack”, deep down they think they can fix it themselves. Unfortunately, unless things change, I foresee a couple of more needless and senseless funerals that I will be attending. Chronic lateness, I don’t think this kills but it certainly puts unneeded limitations on your life and certainly does nothing for self worth!
The people I have been interfacing with are basically decent, intelligent hard working people but people who have the deadly combination of false pride and low self esteem/respect. Deadly if not treated. Funny, they don’t understand why they do the things they do and with the lawyer and my other long term acquaintance, really believe that they can fix themselves through sheer abstinence.
Life reminds me of where I found my major problem. I found it in a mirror. After having found the problem, I swallowed my pride and reached out for help. Some fortunate ones seem to get all the help they need from a 12 step fellowship. While I certainly got (and get) help from group meetings, I needed far more help than meetings could provide. I needed the help of professionals to help me learn not only the tools I needed to live the life I was capable of, but to help me understand how I got so far off track and to address the root causes. I was fortunate to “get it” and learn the hard way that I could not fix myself.
The past 24 hours has once again reminded me, “the road to hell (and I’ve been there) is paved with good intentions.” To get off it requires action and change.
I love to see people get the life they want and am blessed that I have been a part of many success stories. As noted above, I continue to be reminded that I cannot “fix” others, particularly those who believe they can fix themselves. I have empathy for those who “just don’t get it” for they cannot be honest in front of that great tool we all own, the mirror. All I can do is be present when I can be of service! And keep on learning to be of greater service. (www.hopeserenity.ca)

मोरे ओं ANGER

MORE ON ANGER
Today, I had the pleasure of reading an exert from a book called “In God’s Care” by Karen Casey. What a great reminder about the power of anger.
How many people do you run into in your own life that give off vibes that make you feel like there is a volcano present and just about ready to explode? Ever feel that way yourself?
Anger was made a part of us for a reason. Dealing with it, for many, is an acquired skill.
“Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.
--Albert Einstein

Anger can be a healthy emotion, provided we don't wallow in it or attack other people. When we express anger honestly and without reservation, we can prevent walls of resentment from building up and blocking us off from the intimacy that we strive for in our relationships.
When we allow anger to fester in our heart, we surrender our peace of mind and lose our sense of purpose and self-worth. When we harbour anger rather than openly and respectfully expressing it, we no longer hear our inner spirit. Thus we are cut off from our innate wisdom to guide us in our actions.
We're often drawn to people who express their feelings honestly. This style of communicating serves as an invitation to build a relationship with them based on trust. From this trust we learn to open ourselves to God's love for us as we are.
Today I will feel my anger, express it when necessary, and then let it go so that I can deepen my trust of other people and of God.”
The beauty of life today is that I have a choice on how I deal with anger on a daily basis. I chose to express honestly and without reservation and do carry it with me as baggage. I openly admit; this is a skill I acquired through coaching and a skill that makes my days brighter! (www.hopeserenity.ca)

MORE ON ANGER

MORE ON ANGER
MORE ON ANGER
Today, I had the pleasure of reading an exert from a book called “In God’s Care” by Karen Casey. What a great reminder about the power of anger.
How many people do you run into in your own life that give off vibes that make you feel like there is a volcano present and just about ready to explode? Ever feel that way yourself?
Anger was made a part of us for a reason. Dealing with it, for many, is an acquired skill.
“Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools.
--Albert Einstein

Anger can be a healthy emotion, provided we don't wallow in it or attack other people. When we express anger honestly and without reservation, we can prevent walls of resentment from building up and blocking us off from the intimacy that we strive for in our relationships.
When we allow anger to fester in our heart, we surrender our peace of mind and lose our sense of purpose and self-worth. When we harbour anger rather than openly and respectfully expressing it, we no longer hear our inner spirit. Thus we are cut off from our innate wisdom to guide us in our actions.
We're often drawn to people who express their feelings honestly. This style of communicating serves as an invitation to build a relationship with them based on trust. From this trust we learn to open ourselves to God's love for us as we are.
Today I will feel my anger, express it when necessary, and then let it go so that I can deepen my trust of other people and of God.”
The beauty of life today is that I have a choice on how I deal with anger on a daily basis. I chose to express honestly and without reservation and do carry it with me as baggage. I openly admit; this is a skill I acquired through coaching and a skill that makes my days brighter! (www.hopeserenity.ca)

MOVING TOWARDS SUPERCONSCIOUNESS

MOVING TOWARDS SUPERCONSCIOUNESS
MOVING TOWARDS SUPERCONSCIOUNESS
Each week I receive, with interest, a thought provoking “Idea Engineer” from my mentor, Dr. Randin Brons.
I have been fascinate for years by the concept of duality, the two (at least) personalities that exist in each of us. Which one is at the forefront is driven by our level of consciousness.
In getting a life more in tune with what my Higher Power had intended me to have, I had to learn to move from (as defined by Dr. Brons) too much time in the subconscious to a majority of time in the conscious and even at times, the superconscious.
Getting to this life change was a learned skill, and great coaching was instrumental in my achieving change. I invite you to read and reflect on Dr. Bron’s article from this past weekend.
Levels of consciousness
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind." -- William James

Here is one perspective on levels of consciousness and some descriptive words to help us identify the differences:

Not conscious - instinctual, follower
Subconscious - habitual, robotic, reactive
Conscious - aware, intelligent, conceptual, reflective
Superconscious - intuitive, guiding, truthful, loving, universal

Reflect on how you typically move through your day. As we use our minds more consciously, we open up to the superconsciousness.

"Utilizing your conscious mind to direct the subconscious mind to enter into communication and harmony with the universal mind is the secret of personal power." -- Delfin Knowledge System

अ निघत ऑफ़ HOPE

A NIGHT OF HOPE
Every now and again, we can all use a “shot” of hope. Last night was a great one for me.
With all the stats that I keep seeing on addiction recovery, the exploits of people like Lindsay Lohan and the “name” athletes and celebs we are bombarded with and the tough times we are going through, it is easy to have feelings of “hope” dimmed.
Last night, I had the opportunity to drive down to Toronto and take part is a special evening, one that left me full of hope.
The apple does not fall far from the tree, and not only in my personal situation, but the words of many in attendance, I was reminded of that throughout the evening.
Last night I was asked and happily presented my son with a symbolic medallion to recognize he had completed on full year clean and sober. To be asked by him to this was a real honour, to see him achieve this milestone at a much younger age was terrific. Too bad his grandfather and great grandfather did not have the same experience.
While it was a great moment to be a part of this occasion for my son, my regeneration of hope came from far more than this. During the evening, 4 younger (than me) people were recognized for achieving clean time of one year or more, and each shared a story that showed a positive impact on the people, including spouses and children, who were close to them.
Several other people came forward to be recognized for milestones leading up to one year, and they were all beaming ear to ear!
It was not the recognition of individuals that filled me with hope. It was the fact and living proof that there are many people who are truly recovering from addictions on a daily basis and are transforming their lives; all of them with help on a spiritual basis. They are no longer alone spiritually!
Was I proud of my offspring? Sure was. Was I pleased to be a part of a “helping” community including volunteers and professionals? Yup.
But more than anything, I was thrilled to be a part of an evening where miracles in people’s lives gave hope. Pure and simple. It was a recharging of batteries that were in need of a recharge.
As a friend of mine who is a motivational speaker and trainer taught me long ago, Rule #1 we all should learn is, “life is tough”. There are no exceptions.
As I was reminded last night; while life is tough, there is HOPE for each and every one of us who choose to change. Great HOPE. (www.hopeserenity.ca)

A NIGHT OF HOPE

A NIGHT OF HOPE
A NIGHT OF HOPE
Every now and again, we can all use a “shot” of hope. Last night was a great one for me.
With all the stats that I keep seeing on addiction recovery, the exploits of people like Lindsay Lohan and the “name” athletes and celebs we are bombarded with and the tough times we are going through, it is easy to have feelings of “hope” dimmed.
Last night, I had the opportunity to drive down to Toronto and take part is a special evening, one that left me full of hope.
The apple does not fall far from the tree, and not only in my personal situation, but the words of many in attendance, I was reminded of that throughout the evening.
Last night I was asked and happily presented my son with a symbolic medallion to recognize he had completed on full year clean and sober. To be asked by him to this was a real honour, to see him achieve this milestone at a much younger age was terrific. Too bad his grandfather and great grandfather did not have the same experience.
While it was a great moment to be a part of this occasion for my son, my regeneration of hope came from far more than this. During the evening, 4 younger (than me) people were recognized for achieving clean time of one year or more, and each shared a story that showed a positive impact on the people, including spouses and children, who were close to them.
Several other people came forward to be recognized for milestones leading up to one year, and they were all beaming ear to ear!
It was not the recognition of individuals that filled me with hope. It was the fact and living proof that there are many people who are truly recovering from addictions on a daily basis and are transforming their lives; all of them with help on a spiritual basis. They are no longer alone spiritually!
Was I proud of my offspring? Sure was. Was I pleased to be a part of a “helping” community including volunteers and professionals? Yup.
But more than anything, I was thrilled to be a part of an evening where miracles in people’s lives gave hope. Pure and simple. It was a recharging of batteries that were in need of a recharge.
As a friend of mine who is a motivational speaker and trainer taught me long ago, Rule #1 we all should learn is, “life is tough”. There are no exceptions.
As I was reminded last night; while life is tough, there is HOPE for each and every one of us who choose to change. Great HOPE. (www.hopeserenity.ca)

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE IT?

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE IT?
WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE IT?
Over many years, I have had the privilege of working in a mentoring or coaching role with hundreds. I’ve been in several roles, each of them different in approach, from boss to mentor to sponsor to coach to friend to “trusted confidant” to sponsor. I am hesitant to mention father because this is a very unique role.
The “issues” have varied from work and job related, through life crisis including depression and addiction through family and relationship issues.
There is, in my experience, no one size fits all solution, but there are a few simple things that those who have achieved their definition of success have in common.
“He who requires urging to do a noble act will never accomplish it.”--Kahlil Gibran
As the Gibran quote points out, if a person has to be pushed to do the right thing, it likely will not happen. If your not totally willing to make change and prepared to accept the reality of your situation, chances for achieving YOUR goals is minimal.
In many of the roles I have played, I have just been there for others because I try to be a good mentor, friend, boss, etc. While always hopeful, I will work with others out of a sense of personal duty.
I love my role as coach, I will not work with a person who, prior to agreeing to a coach/client relationship, cannot convince me, they are willing to try new things and accepting that they are at a personal bottom, a place that they want to move up from. They must accept that they had a role in reaching their bottom.
I will not work with clients who are not prepared to be open and honest about their past and present. If they cannot be honest with me as coach, there is a strong probability that they cannot be honest with themselves. In my practise, the mirror is an important client tool and who likes to look at a liar? I work with clients who want to “make it” (as defined by them) and I guarantee success, something unique in my business. Ah, the joys of coaching by choice!
Once I have been convinced a person is willing and has accepted, I ask them for a written commitment to do the work THEY are assigned.
Work you may ask?
Yes homework on a regular and sometimes daily basis. Without hard work and commitment coupled with making change a high priority in your daily life, success will not happen. This is called action.
So you want to make it? You are tired of the life you are living and the lack of joy you are getting? You want an abundant life?
You have your own issues and story. Because of your uniqueness, there is not a cookie cutter solution. HOWEVER, I have tried to share, in a straight forward fashion, things I had to do and are common elements I have witnessed in those who have successfully “made it”. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Are you really prepared to make it or are you kidding yourself?

वहत दोएस आईटी टेक तो मके आईटी?

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE IT?
Over many years, I have had the privilege of working in a mentoring or coaching role with hundreds. I’ve been in several roles, each of them different in approach, from boss to mentor to sponsor to coach to friend to “trusted confidant” to sponsor. I am hesitant to mention father because this is a very unique role.
The “issues” have varied from work and job related, through life crisis including depression and addiction through family and relationship issues.
There is, in my experience, no one size fits all solution, but there are a few simple things that those who have achieved their definition of success have in common.
“He who requires urging to do a noble act will never accomplish it.”--Kahlil Gibran
As the Gibran quote points out, if a person has to be pushed to do the right thing, it likely will not happen. If your not totally willing to make change and prepared to accept the reality of your situation, chances for achieving YOUR goals is minimal.
In many of the roles I have played, I have just been there for others because I try to be a good mentor, friend, boss, etc. While always hopeful, I will work with others out of a sense of personal duty.
I love my role as coach, I will not work with a person who, prior to agreeing to a coach/client relationship, cannot convince me, they are willing to try new things and accepting that they are at a personal bottom, a place that they want to move up from. They must accept that they had a role in reaching their bottom.
I will not work with clients who are not prepared to be open and honest about their past and present. If they cannot be honest with me as coach, there is a strong probability that they cannot be honest with themselves. In my practise, the mirror is an important client tool and who likes to look at a liar? I work with clients who want to “make it” (as defined by them) and I guarantee success, something unique in my business. Ah, the joys of coaching by choice!
Once I have been convinced a person is willing and has accepted, I ask them for a written commitment to do the work THEY are assigned.
Work you may ask?
Yes homework on a regular and sometimes daily basis. Without hard work and commitment coupled with making change a high priority in your daily life, success will not happen. This is called action.
So you want to make it? You are tired of the life you are living and the lack of joy you are getting? You want an abundant life?
You have your own issues and story. Because of your uniqueness, there is not a cookie cutter solution. HOWEVER, I have tried to share, in a straight forward fashion, things I had to do and are common elements I have witnessed in those who have successfully “made it”. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Are you really prepared to make it or are you kidding yourself?

सीर्चिंग फॉर यू?

SEARCHING FOR YOU?
Another thought provoking article from my coaching mentor, Dr. Randin Brons, in his Idea Engineer.
How many of us go through life trying to “find ourselves”?
As a coach, one of the things I work with clients on frequently is getting out of their own way. I am a great believer that we all must have a conscious spiritual (not religious) component alive in our lives. Sometimes we need help to find that we have it, all we have to do is be conscious! It’s not something that we have to work at; it already exists. The real you is a spiritual being.
"The anxious student asked the Zen master how long to enlightenment. The Zen Master answered a long time, at least 10 years. The student said, "Well I will work twice as hard." The Zen master said, "Then it will take 20 years." "No!" said the committed student, "I will work three times as hard." "Well then," said the Zen master, "it will take 30 years."
Do you need to work at being spiritual? No. You already are spiritual. Do you need to work at being human? No. That's just who you are.
The spiritual path doesn't require us to get anything. It's a process of opening to new dimensions of who we already are. It's a process of awakening to our own truth. It's a process of allowing ourselves to be authentic.”

"It is not by your actions that you will be saved, but by your being." -- Meister Eckhart

"People ask what must they become to be loving. The answer is 'nothing.' It is a process of letting go of what you thought you had become and allowing your true nature to float to the surface naturally." -- Stephen Levine
If there are things in here that make sense to you, and you want to delve into more deeply, let’s talk. Possibly we can help you get out of the way of you and discover your true self! (www.hopeserenity.ca)

SEARCHING FOR YOU?

SEARCHING FOR YOU?
SEARCHING FOR YOU?
Another thought provoking article from my coaching mentor, Dr. Randin Brons, in his Idea Engineer.
How many of us go through life trying to “find ourselves”?
As a coach, one of the things I work with clients on frequently is getting out of their own way. I am a great believer that we all must have a conscious spiritual (not religious) component alive in our lives. Sometimes we need help to find that we have it, all we have to do is be conscious! It’s not something that we have to work at; it already exists. The real you is a spiritual being.
"The anxious student asked the Zen master how long to enlightenment. The Zen Master answered a long time, at least 10 years. The student said, "Well I will work twice as hard." The Zen master said, "Then it will take 20 years." "No!" said the committed student, "I will work three times as hard." "Well then," said the Zen master, "it will take 30 years."
Do you need to work at being spiritual? No. You already are spiritual. Do you need to work at being human? No. That's just who you are.
The spiritual path doesn't require us to get anything. It's a process of opening to new dimensions of who we already are. It's a process of awakening to our own truth. It's a process of allowing ourselves to be authentic.”

"It is not by your actions that you will be saved, but by your being." -- Meister Eckhart

"People ask what must they become to be loving. The answer is 'nothing.' It is a process of letting go of what you thought you had become and allowing your true nature to float to the surface naturally." -- Stephen Levine
If there are things in here that make sense to you, and you want to delve into more deeply, let’s talk. Possibly we can help you get out of the way of you and discover your true self! (www.hopeserenity.ca)

टॉप १० रेअसोंस इ USE

TOP TEN REASONS I USE
From my friend Patrick Meninga at “Spiritual River”, I want to share this article with you. If you see yourself in it, you need to talk with someone before you become a statistic!
The Top 10 Excuses that Addicts and Alcoholics Use to Justify Their Addiction – and Why it is All BS
Excuse #1: “I have to drink/use drugs in order to work or continue to be successful.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…your career actually suffers due to your addiction, rather than being empowered by your drinking or drug use.
When I was still using drugs and alcohol, I tried to rationalize that drinking and drugging was beneficial to my work in different ways. After getting clean and sober, I have made huge leaps in my career and what I do for meaningful work in my life. The truth is that my drinking was severely limiting me, not empowering me.
Excuse #2: “I need to drink/use drugs in order to be social.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…your drinking and drug use may have resulted in some occasional “fun times” in social environments, but over the long term it only serves to isolate you further. Not only that, but the true addict or alcoholic will eventually go overboard, use more than they planned on, and end up in embarrassing situations that they would have otherwise liked to avoid.
The truth is that we see ourselves as being “tragically hip and fatally cool” when we are intoxicated or high, but everyone else just thinks we are lame, or boring. Get over yourself.
Excuse #3: “I’m not hurting anyone else.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
PLEASE READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE AT www.hopeserenity.ca. Bet you find your excuse in here!

TOP TEN REASONS I USE

TOP TEN REASONS I USE
TOP TEN REASONS I USE
From my friend Patrick Meninga at “Spiritual River”, I want to share this article with you. If you see yourself in it, you need to talk with someone before you become a statistic!
The Top 10 Excuses that Addicts and Alcoholics Use to Justify Their Addiction – and Why it is All BS
Excuse #1: “I have to drink/use drugs in order to work or continue to be successful.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…your career actually suffers due to your addiction, rather than being empowered by your drinking or drug use.
When I was still using drugs and alcohol, I tried to rationalize that drinking and drugging was beneficial to my work in different ways. After getting clean and sober, I have made huge leaps in my career and what I do for meaningful work in my life. The truth is that my drinking was severely limiting me, not empowering me.
Excuse #2: “I need to drink/use drugs in order to be social.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
Perhaps the real truth of the matter is….
…your drinking and drug use may have resulted in some occasional “fun times” in social environments, but over the long term it only serves to isolate you further. Not only that, but the true addict or alcoholic will eventually go overboard, use more than they planned on, and end up in embarrassing situations that they would have otherwise liked to avoid.
The truth is that we see ourselves as being “tragically hip and fatally cool” when we are intoxicated or high, but everyone else just thinks we are lame, or boring. Get over yourself.
Excuse #3: “I’m not hurting anyone else.”
Oh really? Is that why you….
PLEASE READ THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE AT www.hopeserenity.ca. Bet you find your excuse in here!

AUTHENTICALLY YOU!

AUTHENTICALLY YOU!
AUTHENTICALLY YOU!

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."  ~Judy Garland 
Why do so many people live their lives to try and be someone else? You have to love the late Judy Garland’s quote because it is so true.
I know that for many years I lived a life trying to be who others wanted me to be. Today, I often see others trying to be like or look like someone else. Recently my grandson grew hair to look like Justin Bieber, and the look, in part because of the texture of his hair, did not suit him at all! And man, the money that is spent on cosmetic and other surgeries to try to be “just like”!
The question is “what is wrong with being you”?
Now there are some who read this who will say well there are people with serious deformities or defects who require corrective surgery, and off course, there are. This is not what I’m referring to.
If you are not happy with who you are today, why not get some help and take action yourself to be a first rate version of yourself. With few exceptions, we have all been given some great attributes and we have to become personally responsible to accentuate our strengths and humbly appreciate them and use them while recognizing our weaknesses and working actively to minimize there impact. I strive daily to be a first rate version of myself, and while I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, today I live comfortably in my own skin. I am happy being me and am a work in constant progress.
Be authentically you and not a person who is trying to be someone else!
Not happy with who you are? Rather than trying to be a second rate version of someone else, why not take the action needed to be a first rate version of yourself? To be authentically you! (www.hopeserenity.ca)

औठेन्तिकाल्ली यू!

AUTHENTICALLY YOU!

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."  ~Judy Garland 
Why do so many people live their lives to try and be someone else? You have to love the late Judy Garland’s quote because it is so true.
I know that for many years I lived a life trying to be who others wanted me to be. Today, I often see others trying to be like or look like someone else. Recently my grandson grew hair to look like Justin Bieber, and the look, in part because of the texture of his hair, did not suit him at all! And man, the money that is spent on cosmetic and other surgeries to try to be “just like”!
The question is “what is wrong with being you”?
Now there are some who read this who will say well there are people with serious deformities or defects who require corrective surgery, and off course, there are. This is not what I’m referring to.
If you are not happy with who you are today, why not get some help and take action yourself to be a first rate version of yourself. With few exceptions, we have all been given some great attributes and we have to become personally responsible to accentuate our strengths and humbly appreciate them and use them while recognizing our weaknesses and working actively to minimize there impact. I strive daily to be a first rate version of myself, and while I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, today I live comfortably in my own skin. I am happy being me and am a work in constant progress.
Be authentically you and not a person who is trying to be someone else!
Not happy with who you are? Rather than trying to be a second rate version of someone else, why not take the action needed to be a first rate version of yourself? To be authentically you! (www.hopeserenity.ca)

सुफ्फेरिंग तो गेट वेल-Paradox

Suffering to Get Well-Life Paradox
“There is no way to escape the terrible suffering of remorse and regret and shame and embarrassment which starts us on the road to getting well from our affliction.
There is no new way to shake out a hangover.It's painful. And for us, necessarily so. . . .
We suffer to get well.”
Ah, the paradoxes of life. For those who read this and are suffering real pain emotionally, some good news, it is true, we suffer to get well. Without suffering, we can remain at a “stuck point” where things are not well, but we have become numbed or accepting of things less than we deserve. Our emotions inside become suppressed, we don’t feel in the vibrant way we know we should.
A reality or wake up call happens; we listen to our small quiet voice and take action. In doing this, we suffer; but this suffering is a step in regaining our life and emotional health.
So to those who are suffering because of real cause- take positive action. Appreciate your suffering is a real step to getting well!
Need to kick start action? Get in touch. (www.hopeserenity.ca)

SUFFERING TO GET WELL-Paradox

SUFFERING TO GET WELL-Paradox
Suffering to Get Well-Life Paradox
“There is no way to escape the terrible suffering of remorse and regret and shame and embarrassment which starts us on the road to getting well from our affliction.
There is no new way to shake out a hangover.It's painful. And for us, necessarily so. . . .
We suffer to get well.”
Ah, the paradoxes of life. For those who read this and are suffering real pain emotionally, some good news, it is true, we suffer to get well. Without suffering, we can remain at a “stuck point” where things are not well, but we have become numbed or accepting of things less than we deserve. Our emotions inside become suppressed, we don’t feel in the vibrant way we know we should.
A reality or wake up call happens; we listen to our small quiet voice and take action. In doing this, we suffer; but this suffering is a step in regaining our life and emotional health.
So to those who are suffering because of real cause- take positive action. Appreciate your suffering is a real step to getting well!
Need to kick start action? Get in touch. (www.hopeserenity.ca)

एवर वोंदेरेड-दो इ हवे अ प्रॉब्लम?

EVER WONDERED-“DO I HAVE A PROBLEM?”
If you’ve ever wondered if you have a problem with alcohol, sex, drugs, food, gambling or other such issues, the simple answer is “yes you do”.
Did it ever strike, people who don’t have a problem know they don’t. They don’t have to question. Those who ask themselves if they do, particularly when the question crosses their minds on more than one occasion; DO.
I know this from personal experience.
If you have a problem then there is a major next step. It’s called acceptance.
Once you accept you have a problem, you have tough choices; to ignore it and hope it goes away or that you can fix yourself OR to get help and deal with the problem head on.
If you are facing problems due to your own behaviours OR the behaviours of loved ones, and it is causing your life to be unmanageable, please feel free to get in touch. I have been working with others successfully for decades and may be able to put you on the right track with no obligation. (Keith Bray, www.hopeserenity.ca). Living and addiction help in Canada and globally.

Ever Wondered-DO I HAVE A PROBLEM?"

Ever Wondered-DO I HAVE A PROBLEM?"
EVER WONDERED-“DO I HAVE A PROBLEM?”
If you’ve ever wondered if you have a problem with alcohol, sex, drugs, food, gambling or other such issues, the simple answer is “yes you do”.
Did it ever strike, people who don’t have a problem know they don’t. They don’t have to question. Those who ask themselves if they do, particularly when the question crosses their minds on more than one occasion; DO.
I know this from personal experience.
If you have a problem then there is a major next step. It’s called acceptance.
Once you accept you have a problem, you have tough choices; to ignore it and hope it goes away or that you can fix yourself OR to get help and deal with the problem head on.
If you are facing problems due to your own behaviours OR the behaviours of loved ones, and it is causing your life to be unmanageable, please feel free to get in touch. I have been working with others successfully for decades and may be able to put you on the right track with no obligation. (Keith Bray, www.hopeserenity.ca). Living and addiction help in Canada and globally.

लाइफ इस HARD

LIFE IS HARD-GOT RESILIENCE?
There's a vital living asset that almost never gets talked about, because it's so hard to define. You could call it reserves, staying power, bandwidth - or resilience. Examples of resilience might be:
When your computer crashes, you know who to call to help you recover.
When your projects don’ materialize even though you worked hard to promote them, you focus on the lessons that will help you succeed at the next one.
When something just isn't working, you get twice as interested in how to make it work.
When you go it alone to achieve major life change and do not succeed, you know when and where to reach out for help.
Whether you can define it or not, you can cultivate resilience. And you'll be glad you did.

The Importance of Being Resilient!
Almost everyone alive will get pushed to their limits, not once but many times. Face it; “Life Is Tough” (Rule 1 in living) is hard.
If it was easy, everyone living their dreams and have full self-love.
To a large extent, the ones who succeed will be the ones who are the most resilient - the ones who can go to their limit and find that they still have something more in reserve. The one's that put their resistance in "check" and move forward through it until they become free of it and experience the fruits of their labour.

Life's not fair and some people have been given a stronger constitution than others. But as always, the more interesting part is the part that is in your control. What are you doing to build
your resilience today?

Building resilience requires practice. The best time to do it is daily. You're the best judge of what works for you, but here are three steps that help:

Have great resources at your fingertips: Follow the GPS to your personal strengths and grow your self confidence one-methodical step and a time! The tools can be learned – you need to produce the follow-through. How badly do you want a life you love living?
Get good sleep, good nutrition, and good exercise.
Count your blessings: Notice how, after a setback, you keep going. End each day by acknowledging what you got out of it, whether that is the main story or the "silver lining". Gratitude is the foundation of prosperity thinking.

Do you have a favourite way to cultivate resilience? Or another quality that is as crucial in your life? Use all the resources you have to make your dream come true. It's all up you. (www.hopeserenity.ca acknowledges The Art and Science of Coaching)

LIFE IS HARD-GOT RESILIENCE?

LIFE IS HARD-GOT RESILIENCE?
LIFE IS HARD-GOT RESILIENCE?
There's a vital living asset that almost never gets talked about, because it's so hard to define. You could call it reserves, staying power, bandwidth - or resilience. Examples of resilience might be:
When your computer crashes, you know who to call to help you recover.
When your projects don’ materialize even though you worked hard to promote them, you focus on the lessons that will help you succeed at the next one.
When something just isn't working, you get twice as interested in how to make it work.
When you go it alone to achieve major life change and do not succeed, you know when and where to reach out for help.
Whether you can define it or not, you can cultivate resilience. And you'll be glad you did.

The Importance of Being Resilient!
Almost everyone alive will get pushed to their limits, not once but many times. Face it; “Life Is Tough” (Rule 1 in living) is hard.
If it was easy, everyone living their dreams and have full self-love.
To a large extent, the ones who succeed will be the ones who are the most resilient - the ones who can go to their limit and find that they still have something more in reserve. The one's that put their resistance in "check" and move forward through it until they become free of it and experience the fruits of their labour.

Life's not fair and some people have been given a stronger constitution than others. But as always, the more interesting part is the part that is in your control. What are you doing to build
your resilience today?

Building resilience requires practice. The best time to do it is daily. You're the best judge of what works for you, but here are three steps that help:

Have great resources at your fingertips: Follow the GPS to your personal strengths and grow your self confidence one-methodical step and a time! The tools can be learned – you need to produce the follow-through. How badly do you want a life you love living?
Get good sleep, good nutrition, and good exercise.
Count your blessings: Notice how, after a setback, you keep going. End each day by acknowledging what you got out of it, whether that is the main story or the "silver lining". Gratitude is the foundation of prosperity thinking.

Do you have a favourite way to cultivate resilience? Or another quality that is as crucial in your life? Use all the resources you have to make your dream come true. It's all up you. (www.hopeserenity.ca acknowledges The Art and Science of Coaching)

THE TWO YOU'S-DUALITY

THE TWO YOU'S-DUALITY
THE TWO YOU’S-DUALITY
Understand dualities
"Life is the coexistence of all opposite values. Joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, up and down, hot and cold, here and there, light and darkness, birth and death. All experience is by contrast, and one would be meaningless without the other." -- Deepak Chopra

Life is full of dualities, opposites. Despite their apparent opposition, each extreme in a duality is necessary to fully actualize the other. Each depends on the existence of the other. For example, we cannot know honesty if we don't know deception.

The key is to not resist or suppress the negative. We need to acknowledge its existence, though we may choose not to express it. When we embrace wholeness, we move to a higher perspective.

"The light which man has discovered within himself makes him more aware of the dark; through the good which attracts him, he sees the evil which is the line of least resistance; the activity leading to pain simultaneously permits him to visualize the contrasting pleasure, and thus he experiences something of both hell and heaven." -- Aart Jurriaanse
I love the concept of duality, and became very aware of it in doing an in depth study of Eckhart Tolle’s best seller-“A New Earth”. I know there is duality within me- what am I saying when I make a statement like “I’m angry with myself for doing that.” Who is mad at whom? Something to really think about.
The process of transforming my life and going through co-creative life recover hinged on accepting the “duality within”. As my mentor Dr. Randin Bron states in his above quoted Idea Engineer, “we may choose not to express it”. In my own case, the negatives had taken over from the positives and I was truly unhappy.
The positive, the “good within” remains there although it can be suppressed deeply over time. The statement “I am angry with myself” is just one small example of how the “good” that is me continues to question things.
The biggest part of my journey has been to appreciate the negative exists, but to listen to the good that is within me and act, on an ever increasing basis, to this part of me.
I have discovered, through the help of trained others, “the light man has discovered within himself”. I had become well aware of the dark and lived in a world dominated by negatives.
If this article makes you curious and caused thought, I’d love to hear your thoughts. (www.hopeserenity.ca Keith Bray)

थे तवो यू'S

THE TWO YOU’S-DUALITY
Understand dualities
"Life is the coexistence of all opposite values. Joy and sorrow, pleasure and pain, up and down, hot and cold, here and there, light and darkness, birth and death. All experience is by contrast, and one would be meaningless without the other." -- Deepak Chopra

Life is full of dualities, opposites. Despite their apparent opposition, each extreme in a duality is necessary to fully actualize the other. Each depends on the existence of the other. For example, we cannot know honesty if we don't know deception.

The key is to not resist or suppress the negative. We need to acknowledge its existence, though we may choose not to express it. When we embrace wholeness, we move to a higher perspective.

"The light which man has discovered within himself makes him more aware of the dark; through the good which attracts him, he sees the evil which is the line of least resistance; the activity leading to pain simultaneously permits him to visualize the contrasting pleasure, and thus he experiences something of both hell and heaven." -- Aart Jurriaanse
I love the concept of duality, and became very aware of it in doing an in depth study of Eckhart Tolle’s best seller-“A New Earth”. I know there is duality within me- what am I saying when I make a statement like “I’m angry with myself for doing that.” Who is mad at whom? Something to really think about.
The process of transforming my life and going through co-creative life recover hinged on accepting the “duality within”. As my mentor Dr. Randin Bron states in his above quoted Idea Engineer, “we may choose not to express it”. In my own case, the negatives had taken over from the positives and I was truly unhappy.
The positive, the “good within” remains there although it can be suppressed deeply over time. The statement “I am angry with myself” is just one small example of how the “good” that is me continues to question things.
The biggest part of my journey has been to appreciate the negative exists, but to listen to the good that is within me and act, on an ever increasing basis, to this part of me.
I have discovered, through the help of trained others, “the light man has discovered within himself”. I had become well aware of the dark and lived in a world dominated by negatives.
If this article makes you curious and caused thought, I’d love to hear your thoughts. (www.hopeserenity.ca Keith Bray)

थे स्माल ऊईट VOICE

THE SMALL QUIET VOICE
I know today that there is a small quiet voice inside of me. I have learned to listen to it. Have you?
I love listening to and studying Eckhart Tolle. In his works, he puts into words things that I had come to understand as I made major changes in my life. Within each of us there are two forces at play. One is at the forefront, things we have learned through living and are programmed into our day to day life. For some, this programming is healthy. For others like me, the programming became unhealthy through the environment I lived in. Tolle really dwells at length on this duality with each of us.
The “small quiet voice” has existed in me since birth. As life unfolded, I learned how to suppress it and make those uncomfortable feeling of right and wrong- of conscience- remain buried deep inside. I acted on selfish desires that met my desires and helped me to present a “self” I thought the world wanted to see.
As this trend continued, my feelings of true self-love, serenity, hope for the future and more gradually declined. While I may have appeared happy on the outside, I did not like the life that was going on within my own skin.
I hit a bottom that was low enough to move me to change. I got the help I needed to show me a path to change, and made “directed” discoveries that allowed me to make change and move forward.
For the past 16 years, my contact with this small quiet voice inside-call it consciousness, higher power or heart- has constantly increased. No surprise, I am told by those closest to me that I have made major changes in how I face life and today I am comfortable in my own skin. I know hope and I know serenity on a daily basis. I appreciate I am not perfect, but have learned to love the man I am.
My coaching mentor, Dr. Randin Brons, published a “quote only” Idea Engineer recently. I invite you to read it.
Listen to your heart
"To know how to choose a path with heart is to learn how to follow intuitive feeling. Logic can tell you superficially where a path might lead to, but it cannot judge whether your heart will be in it." -- Jean Shinoda Bolen
 
"When you have compassion and surrender to your own heart, you are surrendering to the hidden power in your heart, God. You are surrendering to love, because God is Love, the cohesive force of the universe that connects us all. Surrender is not just a religious concept; it's a power tool for listening to the voice of your spirit and following its directions. When you surrender your head to your heart, you allow your heart to give you a wider, higher intelligence perspective. Remember the phrase, 'The real teacher is within you.' Very simply, that teacher is to be found in the common sense of your own heart." -- Sara Paddison


"Surrender is faith that the power of love can accomplish anything... even when you can not foresee the outcome." -- Deepak Chopra
Watch for our next blog:Understanding Your Duality

THE SMALL QUIET VOICE

THE SMALL QUIET VOICE
THE SMALL QUIET VOICE
I know today that there is a small quiet voice inside of me. I have learned to listen to it. Have you?
I love listening to and studying Eckhart Tolle. In his works, he puts into words things that I had come to understand as I made major changes in my life. Within each of us there are two forces at play. One is at the forefront, things we have learned through living and are programmed into our day to day life. For some, this programming is healthy. For others like me, the programming became unhealthy through the environment I lived in. Tolle really dwells at length on this duality with each of us.
The “small quiet voice” has existed in me since birth. As life unfolded, I learned how to suppress it and make those uncomfortable feeling of right and wrong- of conscience- remain buried deep inside. I acted on selfish desires that met my desires and helped me to present a “self” I thought the world wanted to see.
As this trend continued, my feelings of true self-love, serenity, hope for the future and more gradually declined. While I may have appeared happy on the outside, I did not like the life that was going on within my own skin.
I hit a bottom that was low enough to move me to change. I got the help I needed to show me a path to change, and made “directed” discoveries that allowed me to make change and move forward.
For the past 16 years, my contact with this small quiet voice inside-call it consciousness, higher power or heart- has constantly increased. No surprise, I am told by those closest to me that I have made major changes in how I face life and today I am comfortable in my own skin. I know hope and I know serenity on a daily basis. I appreciate I am not perfect, but have learned to love the man I am.
My coaching mentor, Dr. Randin Brons, published a “quote only” Idea Engineer recently. I invite you to read it.
Listen to your heart
"To know how to choose a path with heart is to learn how to follow intuitive feeling. Logic can tell you superficially where a path might lead to, but it cannot judge whether your heart will be in it." -- Jean Shinoda Bolen
 
"When you have compassion and surrender to your own heart, you are surrendering to the hidden power in your heart, God. You are surrendering to love, because God is Love, the cohesive force of the universe that connects us all. Surrender is not just a religious concept; it's a power tool for listening to the voice of your spirit and following its directions. When you surrender your head to your heart, you allow your heart to give you a wider, higher intelligence perspective. Remember the phrase, 'The real teacher is within you.' Very simply, that teacher is to be found in the common sense of your own heart." -- Sara Paddison


"Surrender is faith that the power of love can accomplish anything... even when you can not foresee the outcome." -- Deepak Chopra

इ ऍम RESPONSIBLE

I AM RESPONSIBLE
I am responsible for me and my actions because I have freedom of choice! A hard lesson to accept and learn.
“I am responsible for myself, my recovery, my well-being, my happiness. All these things are, ultimately, my own responsibility.”
--Anonymous
Our creator and/or our basic make-up gave each of us free will; an ability to make choices. We can choose not to be responsible and make ourselves more miserable by going to new levels of despair and depression. Or we can seize every opportunity for a better life. We are responsible.
When we make a decision to choose a more mentally healthy way of life, we are generally very confused. We welcome support. Many of us are fed up with our lives and would freely turn them in for a different model. We have to learn to put into action what we will learn. We are responsible.
Taking responsibility for ourselves is a new way of thinking for many. It does not come naturally; it is taught and then put into practise through personal actions. I believe in this life there is a power greater than myself (spiritual) and call it what you want. One of the joys in being me is that I have the freedom to make choices. Through learning new skills and putting them into action as best I can, I can now take full responsibility for me.
It is up to me to insure that my spiritual life is healthy and that I stay in tune with this power greater than me. I follow no religion but do pray to better understand the direction of this higher power and meditate, listen to others and listen to that small quiet voice that dwells within to get direction. That is one of my responsibilities.
Each day I must remember that I have free will and I am responsible for my choices. I historically went too often against what the small quiet voice inside told me until I almost suppressed it from my conscious awareness. Today I listen more attentively and try to use my freedom of choice responsibly. Want to move toward that direction and be more responsible? (www.coached-to-success.com)

I AM RERSPONSIBLE

I AM RERSPONSIBLE
I AM RESPONSIBLE
I am responsible for me and my actions because I have freedom of choice! A hard lesson to accept and learn.
“I am responsible for myself, my recovery, my well-being, my happiness. All these things are, ultimately, my own responsibility.”
--Anonymous
Our creator and/or our basic make-up gave each of us free will; an ability to make choices. We can choose not to be responsible and make ourselves more miserable by going to new levels of despair and depression. Or we can seize every opportunity for a better life. We are responsible.
When we make a decision to choose a more mentally healthy way of life, we are generally very confused. We welcome support. Many of us are fed up with our lives and would freely turn them in for a different model. We have to learn to put into action what we will learn. We are responsible.
Taking responsibility for ourselves is a new way of thinking for many. It does not come naturally; it is taught and then put into practise through personal actions. I believe in this life there is a power greater than myself (spiritual) and call it what you want. One of the joys in being me is that I have the freedom to make choices. Through learning new skills and putting them into action as best I can, I can now take full responsibility for me.
It is up to me to insure that my spiritual life is healthy and that I stay in tune with this power greater than me. I follow no religion but do pray to better understand the direction of this higher power and meditate, listen to others and listen to that small quiet voice that dwells within to get direction. That is one of my responsibilities.
Each day I must remember that I have free will and I am responsible for my choices. I historically went too often against what the small quiet voice inside told me until I almost suppressed it from my conscious awareness. Today I listen more attentively and try to use my freedom of choice responsibly. Want to move toward that direction and be more responsible? (www.coached-to-success.com)

REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM

REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM
Refuse To Be a Victim
"We focus on the negatives, losing ourselves in the 'problem.' We point to our unhappy circumstances to rationalize our negative feelings. This is the easy way out. It takes, after all, very little effort to feel victimized."  -- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Nothing and no one can make us a victim. We do it to ourselves when we allow external circumstances to hold power over us.

Although we have no control over what happens to us, we ALWAYS have a choice in how we respond. We hold our power when we accept complete responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions.

"A man may fall many times but he won't be a failure until he says someone pushed him." -- Elmer G. Letterman

"The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed." -- Steven Biko
What a great piece from my Coaching Mentor Dr. Randin Brons in his Idea Engineer. I am blessed to have been mentored by this man!
On a very frequent basis I talk with people blessed with “if only” syndrome. I have seen too many literally die from terminal uniqueness. A hard cold fact.
As the Kubler-Ross quote makes very clear, to not be a “victim” is not the easy choice, but is a choice we have and can learn to make on a regular basis.
I can relate to being a “victim”, because for many years I felt “circumstances” caused negative things to happen. Through hard work directed by good “coaches” I was able to escape the victim mentality. The difference was in my mind, soul and attitude.
Need a little help; go get yourself some great “coaching”! It will work if YOU work it! (www.coached-to-success.com).

GRATITUDE

FRIDAY THE 13th-Gratitude
Just a little rambling today! It's been a tough week at the old ranch and with the most important human in my life. Tough through circumstances, not my actions.
Today is a great day (as is every day) to feel gratitude!
We have had a minor crisis occur. In my life long past and pre life recovery, I likely would have gone nuts and vented overtly at people who were just doing their job. My beloved crashed, I was glad to be able to stay in the moment, let things happen and calmly take action. This included just supporting, not trying to control or vent at "the boss".
I am truly grateful for the tools that I have learned along the road of life recovery and importantly, for concious contact with a power greater than me that always has, and still reside, within. I am grateful that I found this power through a major change in attitude. Friday the 13th has been a good day and that will continue based on my making good choices!
Each day I have to focus on gratitude for things that DO happen each day. There is far too much negativity in this world and in the environments I occupy space in. A wise Newfie (a Canadian thing) once shared a saying with me (a good story-contact me and I'll share) - he said, "Boy, laugh or cry; the price is the same". Positive or negative, grateful or depressed-daily choices we all have to make.
As you read this Friday the 13th note, see if you can relate. If you can, and want to be coached to an attitude adjustment, drop me a line! The start is free! (www.hopeserenity.ca). Take the time to be conciously grateful for something today!

Friday 13th-Gratitude

Friday 13th-Gratitude
FRIDAY THE 13th-Gratitude
Just a little rambling today! It's been a tough week at the old ranch and with the most important human in my life. Tough through circumstances, not my actions.
Today is a great day (as is every day) to feel gratitude!
We have had a minor crisis occur. In my life long past and pre life recovery, I likely would have gone nuts and vented overtly at people who were just doing their job. My beloved crashed, I was glad to be able to stay in the moment, let things happen and calmly take action. This included just supporting, not trying to control or vent at "the boss".
I am truly grateful for the tools that I have learned along the road of life recovery and importantly, for concious contact with a power greater than me that always has, and still reside, within. I am grateful that I found this power through a major change in attitude. Friday the 13th has been a good day and that will continue based on my making good choices!
Each day I have to focus on gratitude for things that DO happen each day. There is far too much negativity in this world and in the environments I occupy space in. A wise Newfie (a Canadian thing) once shared a saying with me (a good story-contact me and I'll share) - he said, "Boy, laugh or cry; the price is the same". Positive or negative, grateful or depressed-daily choices we all have to make.
As you read this Friday the 13th note, see if you can relate. If you can, and want to be coached to an attitude adjustment, drop me a line! The start is free! (www.hopeserenity.ca). Take the time to be conciously grateful for something today!

ARE YOU IN DENIAL?

ARE YOU IN DENIAL?
ARE YOU IN DENIAL? (or Swimming in the NILE)
Ahh, that old line, denial is not a river in Egypt! Ever think about what you’re in denial about?
I spent many years denying some major issues. I drank and drugged too much, I used mood altering behaviours (with other people) to escape reality and likely several other things! My family and those close to me were in denial; denial about the life they lived as a direct result of my behaviour and a false belief that how we lived was normal. Our family had many secrets.
My actions not only hurt me, but hurt those I cared the most about, and denying this caused a huge problem for many!
Statistics tell us that at least 10% of the population suffers from addiction. The average household still sits at about 4 people. Funny then, about 1/3 of the population or more are directly impacted by addiction, yet how many admit it and take action to do something about it?
My own family and I are living proof of what happens when a cycle is not broken.
Professionally I work with others. Working with addicted people is the tip of the iceberg in the coaching niche I work in. It is pretty obvious when people have an addiction. It makes it easier for them to escape denial when things get bad enough.
Recently, I have been working with more and more people who are members of the group who have been adversely affected by addiction and abuse. Most of these people are good people leading a decent life and who truly believe themselves to be helpers. To a certain extent they are “victims”. It’s amazing to see how people who have lived with addicted and/or dysfunctional families are attracted to similar people. (Again, I look at my own situation). The tragic thing is that most of these people live in deep denial; after all, they don’t have an obvious problem; just a great deal of unhappiness. They lose themselves in the world they live, particularly those who are prone to put others overtly and consciously ahead of themselves and who want things to look normal and/or perfect.
For this group, overcoming denial is difficult!
I invite you, the reader, to look deeply into my favourite tool; a mirror. Do you see a happy and content person in the mirror OR is there something you are in denial about? You don’t have to be an addict or abuser to be made unhappy.
We all have choices available to us. Overcoming denial and seeking help is a BIG first step to getting the life you deserve. This is followed by taking major action.
Look at your life. Are you in denial or is “De Nile” truly a river in Egypt? (www.hopeserenity.ca)

अरे यू इन डेनिअल?

ARE YOU IN DENIAL? (or Swimming in the NILE)
Ahh, that old line, denial is not a river in Egypt! Ever think about what you’re in denial about?
I spent many years denying some major issues. I drank and drugged too much, I used mood altering behaviours (with other people) to escape reality and likely several other things! My family and those close to me were in denial; denial about the life they lived as a direct result of my behaviour and a false belief that how we lived was normal. Our family had many secrets.
My actions not only hurt me, but hurt those I cared the most about, and denying this caused a huge problem for many!
Statistics tell us that at least 10% of the population suffers from addiction. The average household still sits at about 4 people. Funny then, about 1/3 of the population or more are directly impacted by addiction, yet how many admit it and take action to do something about it?
My own family and I are living proof of what happens when a cycle is not broken.
Professionally I work with others. Working with addicted people is the tip of the iceberg in the coaching niche I work in. It is pretty obvious when people have an addiction. It makes it easier for them to escape denial when things get bad enough.
Recently, I have been working with more and more people who are members of the group who have been adversely affected by addiction and abuse. Most of these people are good people leading a decent life and who truly believe themselves to be helpers. To a certain extent they are “victims”. It’s amazing to see how people who have lived with addicted and/or dysfunctional families are attracted to similar people. (Again, I look at my own situation). The tragic thing is that most of these people live in deep denial; after all, they don’t have an obvious problem; just a great deal of unhappiness. They lose themselves in the world they live, particularly those who are prone to put others overtly and consciously ahead of themselves and who want things to look normal and/or perfect.
For this group, overcoming denial is difficult!
I invite you, the reader, to look deeply into my favourite tool; a mirror. Do you see a happy and content person in the mirror OR is there something you are in denial about? You don’t have to be an addict or abuser to be made unhappy.
We all have choices available to us. Overcoming denial and seeking help is a BIG first step to getting the life you deserve. This is followed by taking major action.
Look at your life. Are you in denial or is “De Nile” truly a river in Egypt? (www.hopeserenity.ca)

OPEN ABOUT PROBLEMS? (Denial)

OPEN ABOUT PROBLEMS? (Denial)
OPEN ABOUT PROBLEMS?

Many of us lived in situations where it wasn't okay to identify, have, or talk about problems. Denial became a way of life - our way of dealing with problems.
When working with others in recovering a life you want and transforming to a new way of life, many still fear problems. We continue to react or deny problems; we do not delve in to the cause! To be able to admit and deal with problems on a daily basis is truly a gift; and a skill that can be learned.
The process of co-creative life recovery focuses on learning how to clearly identify and deal with problems. A first step is to make sure the problem is ours; that it does not belong to someone else. If it belongs to them, we set a boundary and place the problem where it belongs; if it is ours we may set a goal, ask for help, gather information, take action or just let go of the problem.
In going through life recovery, we learn to not worry about problems that may happen. When problems to come up and they will, we will have the tools and resources necessary to deal with them!
Life recovery in my belief has a spiritual (not religious) component. In understanding and fully engaging in the process, you will be able to deal with situations intuitively that used to baffle you! You will deal with life on life’s terms free of denial.

पेरसोनल BOUNDARIES

Personal Boundaries-Important To Set
I had no idea what personal boundaries were for a large part of my life. Understanding what they are and then setting them and staying strong to keep them in place has been a learned skill; and one that requires constant vigilance.
I allowed others to put me in situations over the years that instinctively made me feel uncomfortable. This was particularly true with those I cared about. I wanted to please them at the expensive of myself.
Today I set boundaries. Others may try to ignore them or cross them, but for the most part I maintain them.
When my boundaries are encroached on, I begin to feel uncomfortable inside. I now pay attention to these feelings. This has resulted in those around me, over time, changing the way they interact with me.
Is this an easy process? The answer in my own case was no.
Others did resist the change in me but I have learned I am not here to make others happy. I have a right to set the boundaries that are appropriate for me. Other people have learned to live, and live quite comfortably, with the new me.
Ah, to be comfortable in your own skin! To enjoy increasing periods of hope and serenity in daily living. To appreciate the value of self and to be able to give to others from a position of strength. A large part of this personal growth was a direct result of learning how to set personal boundaries that were correct for me and maintaining them on a consistent basis over an extended period of time.
There are many out there who struggle on a daily basis with boundary setting. They feel the discomfort yet don’t know how to assertively (not aggressively) make change. I’d love to hear your comments about personal boundaries. (www.hopeserenity.ca)

PERSONAL BOUNDARIES-IMPORTANT TO SET

PERSONAL BOUNDARIES-IMPORTANT TO SET
Personal Boundaries-Important To Set
I had no idea what personal boundaries were for a large part of my life. Understanding what they are and then setting them and staying strong to keep them in place has been a learned skill; and one that requires constant vigilance.
I allowed others to put me in situations over the years that instinctively made me feel uncomfortable. This was particularly true with those I cared about. I wanted to please them at the expensive of myself.
Today I set boundaries. Others may try to ignore them or cross them, but for the most part I maintain them.
When my boundaries are encroached on, I begin to feel uncomfortable inside. I now pay attention to these feelings. This has resulted in those around me, over time, changing the way they interact with me.
Is this an easy process? The answer in my own case was no.
Others did resist the change in me but I have learned I am not here to make others happy. I have a right to set the boundaries that are appropriate for me. Other people have learned to live, and live quite comfortably, with the new me.
Ah, to be comfortable in your own skin! To enjoy increasing periods of hope and serenity in daily living. To appreciate the value of self and to be able to give to others from a position of strength. A large part of this personal growth was a direct result of learning how to set personal boundaries that were correct for me and maintaining them on a consistent basis over an extended period of time.
There are many out there who struggle on a daily basis with boundary setting. They feel the discomfort yet don’t know how to assertively (not aggressively) make change. I’d love to hear your comments about personal boundaries. (www.hopeserenity.ca)

पे आट्ट्ण्टीण तो यौर EMOTIONS

Pay attention to your emotions

"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions.... It's time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No magic pill will do it." -- Doc Childre

Many of us believe that we need to keep a tight lid on our emotions. We fear that if we ever allow these emotions to be expressed, they will do serious damage.

But if we summon up the courage to truly feel our emotions, we discover that they don't last. The monster in the closet turns out to be a pussycat. In fact, if we are willing to experience our emotions completely, without resistance of any kind, they burn themselves out in only a few minutes.

The only thing that keeps emotions alive within you over long periods is your unwillingness to acknowledge them.

"By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid and stereotyped; by repressing them we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison it." -- Joseph Collins
This piece comes from my coaching mentor Dr. Randin Brons in his "Idea Engineer" and was made real through a client meeting I had this past weekend and my own "remembers when’s" that were triggered.
When I hit a wall at 46, I certainly had all kinds of emotions; emotions I could not clearly identify or deal with. I found ways to escape them and most were personally destructive.
Learning how to identify and deal with emotions was a learned skill; learned through working with trained professionals. It was as if a whole new world opened up to me and I can smile today as I think back to those early days when I sat my family around the table and said things like "what colour do you feel?" to them!
Today, I can identify emotions and feelings, welcome and accept them, and deal with them in a healthy way. Life is far more balanced and fun today, and in dealing with my emotions in a healthy fashion, it is far easier to avoid mood altering substances and behaviour!

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR EMOTIONS

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR EMOTIONS
Pay attention to your emotions

"Emotions are the next frontier to be understood and conquered. To manage our emotions is not to drug them or suppress them, but to understand them so that we can intelligently direct our emotional energies and intentions.... It's time for human beings to grow up emotionally, to mature into emotionally managed and responsible citizens. No magic pill will do it." -- Doc Childre

Many of us believe that we need to keep a tight lid on our emotions. We fear that if we ever allow these emotions to be expressed, they will do serious damage.

But if we summon up the courage to truly feel our emotions, we discover that they don't last. The monster in the closet turns out to be a pussycat. In fact, if we are willing to experience our emotions completely, without resistance of any kind, they burn themselves out in only a few minutes.

The only thing that keeps emotions alive within you over long periods is your unwillingness to acknowledge them.

"By starving emotions we become humorless, rigid and stereotyped; by repressing them we become literal, reformatory and holier-than-thou; encouraged, they perfume life; discouraged, they poison it." -- Joseph Collins
This piece comes from my coaching mentor Dr. Randin Brons in his "Idea Engineer" and was made real through a client meeting I had this past weekend and my own "remembers when’s" that were triggered.
When I hit a wall at 46, I certainly had all kinds of emotions; emotions I could not clearly identify or deal with. I found ways to escape them and most were personally destructive.
Learning how to identify and deal with emotions was a learned skill; learned through working with trained professionals. It was as if a whole new world opened up to me and I can smile today as I think back to those early days when I sat my family around the table and said things like "what colour do you feel?" to them!
Today, I can identify emotions and feelings, welcome and accept them, and deal with them in a healthy way. Life is far more balanced and fun today, and in dealing with my emotions in a healthy fashion, it is far easier to avoid mood altering substances and behaviour!

कार्ट बेफोरे होर्से? वहत इस इम्पोर्तंत?

CART BEFORE HORSE?

Last week, in his “Idea Engineer”, my friend and mentor Dr. Randin Brons wrote about the importance-wrongly- that people put on money. This week’s article builds on that thought.
The old adage- what comes first, the cart or the horse? - comes to mind.
"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you love to do, in order to have what you want." -- Margaret Young
The formula for success is Be, Do, Have. If we seek abundance, we must be abundant in spirit. We can begin to cultivate spiritual wealth by opening our hearts in gratitude.
Start a gratitude journal today. Each evening, write down at least 5 things for which you are grateful. This simple tool will help you open your eyes to the abundance of your world right now.
"Who does not thank for little will not thank for much." -- Estonian proverb
Want more in your life? Take this advice. As one who has being doing this for years, I can promise you it works if you work it.
Struggling to learn who you really are and with what YOU really want? Sometimes talking with a third party trained listener can help. We listen!

CART BEFORE HORSE? What is Important?

CART BEFORE HORSE? What is Important?
http://www.hopeserenity.ca/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=241:cart-before-horse-what-is-important&catid=1:latest-news
http://www.hopeserenity.ca/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=241:cart-before-horse-what-is-important&catid=1:latest-news
CART BEFORE HORSE?

Last week, in his “Idea Engineer”, my friend and mentor Dr. Randin Brons wrote about the importance-wrongly- that people put on money. This week’s article builds on that thought.
The old adage- what comes first, the cart or the horse? - comes to mind.
"Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you love to do, in order to have what you want." -- Margaret Young
The formula for success is Be, Do, Have. If we seek abundance, we must be abundant in spirit. We can begin to cultivate spiritual wealth by opening our hearts in gratitude.
Start a gratitude journal today. Each evening, write down at least 5 things for which you are grateful. This simple tool will help you open your eyes to the abundance of your world right now.
"Who does not thank for little will not thank for much." -- Estonian proverb
Want more in your life? Take this advice. As one who has being doing this for years, I can promise you it works if you work it.
Struggling to learn who you really are and with what YOU really want? Sometimes talking with a third party trained listener can help. We listen!

TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE

TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE
I am reminded by fellow coach Phil Evans of the following truth. The most common 'theme' that I introduce to new clients when working in the Life Coaching realm, is the critical importance of being true to oneself!  It's just so darned easy to get into doing everything for everybody else, but sadly neglecting that important person in the mirror.
Yep, too darned easy to put everybody else first; and eventually something will kick our butts as it tries to alert us of the need to look after that person also known as ME!

That something can often be health issues; depression; anger; sadness and moodiness; and a variety of other stuff.

We all need to be aware of the importance of looking after ourselves holistically: creating a healthy approach to our Mind/Body/Spirit balance and general well-being!  All three aspects need to be in sync with who we are, and what we're doing, and where we're headed.

Very important note: This doesn't mean that any of us should suddenly give up doing good things for others; quite the opposite actually!  It simply means to aim for a healthy balance in doing things for self AND others in a manner which still serves the inner-self and our own needs; and not just the needs of others. (Free daily balance checklist at www.hopeserenity.ca).

So here's the challenge: What's holding you back from making those important decisions for YOU; and then acting on them?  Maybe it's time that you cut those strings that bind you to a job that you hate; a relationship that doesn't serve you; a health issue which has been left unattended; your financial situation; .... Or whatever it is that's testing you right now.

C'mon .... you can do it!
Yell out if you need some help!  (I'll see you ... or hear you!)

HANDLING CHANGE

HANDLING CHANGE
HANDLING CHANGE
In the life I live and the work I do, it is apparent that many people have trouble with change. Yet change is as certain to happen as it is certain that to live, you will draw another breath.
"We cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life's morning; for what in the morning was true will in evening become a lie." -- C.G. Jung
It’s interesting, in reading sent out this week by both Dr. Randin Brons, my mentor, and a friend and coach in Australia, Phil Evans, the subject of “change” was their themes, and I have borrowed from both of these sources! Helping people make change is a key to what we as coaches do, and is a key to the personal happiness of many.
Life continually evolves. We're always moving into new experiences, new possibilities. This constant change unsettles the personality, which finds security in stability. But with life always in flux, that security is an illusion. We experience pain by trying to hold on to things that are not solid.
Life becomes joyful when we can open to the constant flow and ride freely with it. This requires us to let go of the need to control. We need to learn to trust.
In recent times in my roles as a Life and Addictions Coach, I have become increasingly aware that one of my major tasks is to actually help people manage change in their lives. When they approach me for help, they know that something is out of whack; that they’ve got to do something about it now; and they're asking me for help with, 'why is it out of whack', and 'how can we fix it' ?
Do your best to remember this paradox of life: We can often stare for so long at the door which has closed; that we can miss a new one which has opened!
 It is actually very easy to resist change; but keep in mind that resisting change is actually hard work! Quite often, we don't even know that we are resisting it; so like most other things in life, it's about being aware!
Right now, change is being forced upon us in many ways; and for some of us, that could be overwhelming. My No 1 suggestion for anyone who is feeling the pinch, is to remember that 'necessity is the mother of invention'; so if you can get yourself into embracing the change which is forcing itself upon you, and get creative, then you may come out of your own situation absolutely shining! Yes folk, our attitude towards change does make all the difference!
We can choose to Embrace it ... or Resist it!
If you are hurting in any way whatsoever: then you can choose to reach out to others, and seek help.
 Remember: None of us have to do it tough on our own ... ever!   Because: doing it tough on our own ... is also a choice! Are you prepared to face and embrace change? Need help? (www.hopeserenity.ca)
"We're never the same; notice how you're called to write something entirely different about a topic you responded to weeks or months ago." -- Patrice Vecchione